It is so easy to take out our anger, frustration, and dissatisfaction on people, whether they are the cause or not. Our annoyance is often reflected in the harsh tones we use when we speak to them. Now I understand that we may have legitimate reasons for speaking to people in harsh tones, especially if we believe that they have done something wrong or offended us. However, just because we may have legitimate reasons still doesn’t make it right or acceptable to speak to people in this manner. Furthermore, it accomplishes very little because one harsh tone begets another harsh tone. Feelings, emotions, or attitudes are transferrable. No wonder the writer of Proverbs said, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” (15:1)

In Ephesians, the Apostle Paul encourages us to get rid of behaviors that can contribute to the harshness of our tones, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior” (Eph 4:31, NLT). Next, Paul entreats us to respond to others in this manner— “…be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Eph 2:32, NLT)

God is our greatest example. We are sometimes disobedient, unwilling, unfaithful, you name it, yet God forgives us. He treats us with kindness and compassion regardless of our mistakes. Scripture says God’s “compassions fail not. They are new every morning” (Lam 3:22-23). Therefore, let us follow God’s example. Let us be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving towards others, and if we are, our tones will no doubt soften when we speak.